The twilight Zone

As things come slowly come back to normal in Pakistan,new videos released by Pakistani News channel Geo,been aired by CNN.The video clearly shows Benazir Bhutto's assassin firing at her,and her falling down in her SUV.
The poor girl almost gave her life in a plate to the terrorists.
Safely attended the election rally,nothing happened.Safely boarded her SUV.Safely came out of on the road,and was on the way home.But somehow felt the need to stand in the sunroof and wave at the cheering crowd,out on the road.Now there the security agencies did not have enough arrangements,and this move of her was not planned,she just did it.If only she had made it shorter,but she stayed out of the sunroof in a stationary SUV for some time.
Sad it is,but at the same time she was being too careless.

I would have been an ace,not an ass

1."We will do it" means "You will do it"

2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the Same"

4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"

5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I Have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"

7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will Talk later"

8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"

9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension Of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver On time."

10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually Fought"

11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help You" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told meEarlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you Where your fault is"

14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just Ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."

15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"

16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything About it"

17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: wen you rearrange the letters: EST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: hen you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION:When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:When you rearrange the letters:CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:When you rearrange the letters:IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW:When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:When you rearrange the letters:ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:When you rearrange the letters:IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:When you rearrange the letters:THAT QUEER SHAKE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

Sense of community has gone cyber and virtual.We spend more time in trying to make friends on the internet,than we do in real life.

Don't we?
Even from strangers.

In May 1998,India and Pakistan showed off their Nuclear weapons,by carrying out some subterranean explosions.
Don't know about India,but in Pakistan,we woke up the next morning with all the foreign currency accounts ceased
I was working with an American company at that time,and was being paid in US Dollars.The bank told me that i can still withdraw money,but in Pakistani currency,and that too at a lower exchange rate than the open market.
The reason may be because Pakistan was under intense scrutiny from CIA,and they wont let any international company do business with Pakistan which makes components usable in any nuclear technology.
So presumably,they bought all the stuff from the smugglers,only at about ten times the original price,or maybe more.That emptied all foreign currencies from the national treasury.I lost about 7% of my hard earned money,due to the lower exchange rates given by the bank,and so did other people like me.

In the wake of Benazir Bhutto's assassination,make people in Pakistan are now out on the rampage.On emurder is being protested by further killings and destruction.
To distract people and hopefully calm them down,it will be a good idea to send Pakistan cricket team to Australia or west Indies,and broadcast the series live on all TV channels.
The cricket obsessed people may calm down.

One of the former Prime ministers of Pakistan,Liaquat ali khan was killed by snipers at exactly the same place on October 16th 1951.
Benazir Bhutto lost her life at exactly the same place,and by sniper firing.

Double sniper firing,and one suicide bomber.I think if they continue killing at this rate,these suicide bombers will struggle to find targets after some time.Its a shame.

With my PC upgraded,and performing far better than before,and more upgrades on the way,i can now play games which previously i couldn't have.
But there is one down side.These games are addictive.I started playing Need for speed,got bored then tried war games.Rejected a few,then "Battlefield 2142" caught my attention.
Last week,started with half an hour of game play every day,and last night i spent 4 hours playing this game.
Think i should pull the plug for a while.All that firing,defending and attacking is so enjoyable,but i think i will take a break.I don't want addiction.Blogging is already one addiction i got,don't want another

Few weeks ago i posted this picture without realizing that it will appear in the media corner of BCUK homepage.That means that whether or not somebody in blog land visits my blog or not.The y have to see this picture.Jenray was the first blogger to protest in her kind way,and i took her advice,sort of.
Today this blogger posted this picture,and i have to see this whenever i visit BCUK homepage.This is funny and naughty but at the same time annoying .
I suggest BCUK should disable this new feature of their homepage,or we bloggers should be more careful,while posting a photo.

Mehrgarh in central Pakistan is probably the world's oldest known city.It was built about 9000 years ago,and was abandoned some 4000 years ago.Early Mehrgarh residents lived in mud brick houses, stored their grain in granaries, fashioned tools with local copper ore, and lined their large basket containers with bitumen. They cultivated six-row barley, einkorn and emmer wheat, jujubes and dates, and herded sheep, goats and cattle.
Archaeologists found the world's oldest drilled human teeth during excavation of the site.Probably they were the world's first dentists.

Not so grand canyons,on the south eastern coast of Pakistan

Makran coastal highway,passes through miles and miles of uncharted an unexplored wilderness.

Thousands of years ago,when humans still lived in caves.This is an ancient cave colony in southern Pakistan.Not very much explored yet.

Biafo hispar snow lake in northern Pakistan.The longest non-polar glacier trekking site,with a 76 miles 13 days demanding trekking. Max. altitude - 5151m.

Colorful karamber lake in spring.That too in Northern Pakistan.

The idea of full “360-degree viewing is fabulous but do you guys think it’s really fabulous with that gigantic 3 kg helmet on your head?
Connect it with you PC.ipod or any other video source and enjoy a virtual 360 degree screen.
If yoy are ok with keeping the 3kg weight on your head .Made by Toshiba...not me

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7155161.stm

So the Eid day was marked by a suicide bombing near Peshawar in Pakistan.The bomber was in the seventh row in the mosque where 1200 people were present to say the Eid prayers.
Presumably he had 7 to 9 kilograms of explosives strapped around his body.Over fifty men died and dozens critically injured.
Being a Muslim myself,i really don't understand how someone can do this to be a martyr,or go the heaven,or please God,Allah.
I don't think these people have any religion.They are some angry mad people who have lost their last brain cells.
Its a shame that these days almost all big mosques have to scramble for security in all major events.Even the weekly Friday prayers.
Metal detector bearing security guards check suspicious people,but these mad zombies are successfully plaguing Pakistan with suicide bombings.
I am confused.

I remember the Chinese woman whom i met,and she thought that there are only two languages spoken in the world.They speak Chinese and the rest of the world speaks English.

I remember the Californian school teacher who was totally gob smacked when i gave him my email address and told him that i am from Pakistan.He couldn't believe that people use internet so far from the USA.

I remember the Russian girl who instantly fell in love with me when i took her to a fancy restaurant and asked the waiter to bring every dish on the menu.It cost me just 10 dollars,because UssR had reticently disintegrated,and ruble was worthless.

I remember my colleague whom i rescued.He thought he was drowning in a few inch deep puddle.He was too drunk and i pushed him out of the puddle.

I remember the Thai girl,who had petite boobs,sun kissed skin and so beautiful.I had my hands on her pair.But i had to run away when she/he had a huge erection.Of course i didn't know that

I remember the saleswoman in a jewelery shop who asked me not to buy the platinum ring with a small diamond.She asked me if i had an expensive car or not.I said not.She said,then nobody will believe you are wearing a platinum diamond ring.They will take it as silver ring with a crystal.

How to get rid of a bunny boiler?

A few years back,i was well offended when someone called me a heterosexual.Lost in translation maybe.

If a woman calls herself a minger.Believe her and don't ask her to send you her piccy.You will live to regret.

Tomorrow.O yeah.
Blood and gore.Fresh meat.Lots and lots of goats,cows,and camels will be slaughtered.
Specially bred,and taken care for almost an year.Well fed,washed and groomed regularly and with lots of makeup.
This month animal prices go sky high.A normal sized goat costs 200 pounds sterling in Pakistan.A big fat bull costs over a 1000 pounds.
But the taking down and slaughtering a big bull is not that easy,and becomes a team effort.It's hard to slash the throat of the animal you had been feeding and caring for the last whole year or so,and you got emotionally attached to it.
I remember bursting into tears,as a kid when the goats i used to play with,were taken away for being slaughtered.
But when we munch on the fresh meat for over a month after this event,that too feels so good.
Tomorrow is my day off for eid-ul-adha
Eid-ul-Ahda

When the kurds helped you in getting rid of saddam,you gave them a country and some prosperity.
Now you don't want them anymore so you will let the Turks do your job.Clever? isn't it?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071218/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/rice

Whats the diff between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job still sucks.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's £1 a minute.

Girls are like phones. They like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

came 2 me 1 nite...explored my body...licked-sucked-swallowed & had a fill...wen satisfied ,left...I was hurt... F***IN MOSQUITO

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND...

10. Cats' facial expressions

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds

7. Fat clothes

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow

3. Eyelash curlers

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

1. OTHER WOMEN

-----------------------------

Hot Arab Girls

I love listening to Arab music.The best are the Lebanese,and then are the Egyptians.
Although Arabic is the language spoken in all the north Africa and eastern end of the Mediterranean.But most of these people are not ethnic arabs.
I have been to these countries many times,and its a mix there.
Predominantly Muslim countries,but the so called moderate Islam,or modernization has not left much of Islam in them.
About Turkey specially,they are now cultural Europeans,
and most city dwellers are almost Ex-Muslims.The only sign of them being Muslims are their names,even that sometimes changes to some Christian nick.There is a saying about Turks,that they got rid of their religion,and embraced full European culture(generally speaking),but the EU will never give them membership.So in effect they lost their identity,and original way of life,completely copied and adapted a foreign culture,and got nothing out of it?
The north Africans i.e Tunisia,Algeria,morocco,Mauritania,are mainly the Byzantines,and had their own language,mainly berbari.They got hot babes,clear skin,nice climate.When the new Muslims came to them about 1400 years ago,they were so impressed by them,that they not only changed their religion,but also changed their language.But they don't speak pure Arabic.Their Arabic is a mixture of their old tribal languages,Arabic and French.
Modern Tunisia,specially in cities,does not look like a muslim country at all.I have been wandering in Tunis,their capital city,and have been to a big mosque.The big mosque was almost empty ath the time of prayer,as people are not bothered anymore.
Again the same thing,the so called modernization and moderate Islam,has confused them,and they are nobody.Not Muslims,and not non-Muslims.
The argument goes on.The preachers of modern Islam or moderate Islam are the so called western countries,USA and EU.
Turks,Albanians,Syrians,Jordanians,Most Algerians,Most Moroccans,Most Tiunisians have listened to them and have minimized their Islam to wearing one locket in the neck showing a crescent.Most of them don't even know how to pray or read the quran.
Have they been accepted by western countries as one of them?
Have the nude beaches,and cleavage flashing babes of turkey impressed Europe to accept them as Part of EU?Although they have an identical culture,and they have changed themselves to this point.They were not always like the.
So i don't think this will help any other Muslim country,or people.We may be called medieval,or backward,but we have some identity,some different way of life and we feel like someone or something.
If i leave my way,and embrace the so called moderate or modern,as dictated by the current western campaign for changing us,i will be nobody and nothing.
A lost sheep? I already feel like one..sometimes

After all i upgraded my PC to play this game

click here

Last year during the Christmas holidays,i ventured out to visit my relatives living in east London.I decided to go there on my car.
I ended up on the gate of a pig farm,somewhere in Suffolk.Thats when my Tomtom go shouted "you have arrived"
Some how the gadget malfunctioned and led me about 25 miles away from my destination.

Morale of the story; __________________________________?

The Italian who spoke English in Italian accent

My car was stopped by police last week,on faulty rear lights,and they gave me 5 days to sort it out.According to the paper they gave me,after the lights are fixed,i had to show it to a certified garage,get the paper stamped from them and submit it to the police station.
So it was a little DIY for Brainy me
Step one was to open the driver side rear lights and see whats wrong.As i opened the lights,water started flowing out of it,and it did not seem to stop
On close inspection,i found that there was a crack in the plastic casing and the previous owner had tried to repair it with some glue,but it didn't work.
So after getting rid of a few liters of water,and blow drying the plastic casing,i tried to change the bulbs.The bulbs won't come out of the sockets.They were almost welded in there due to excessive rusting.
I realized that i have to change the bulbs and the sockets
The next stop was the scrap yard,where i had to find an exact model,as of my car.After searching for about ten minutes,i found a car of the same type,stacked on top of another car.
The scrap yard owner gave me a ladder to reach the rear lights of the car,and there is was with my plier and screw driver,trying to open the lights and cut the cables.
After some struggle,it was a success.All that cost me 10 pounds,Plastic casing+sockets+bulbs.
So i got rid of my car/s broken light and rusty wirings and sockets,and fixed new ones.
Then it was time to show my brilliant work to some mechanic and get the paper stamped for the police.First i had to struggle trying to make them understand what the paper means and what i want.The first three garages did not understand,they asked me to leave my car for a full M.O.T...Stupids
Then finally one wise man understood what i want,inspected the light,and found that i have swapped the position of indicator light with brake light.As i switched on the right indicator,the brake light started blinking,and when i pushed the brake,the indicator light switched on
Took me another 20 minutes to reset the positions of the bulbs,and the mechanic was happy,i got the paper stamped.
So i went to the police station with the paper,showed it to them,and lived happily ever after

So after days of thinking and trying to reason with myself on whether i need it or not,i have finally decided to upgrade my PC
Currently my PC RAM is faulty and works at half it's capacity,and the graphics card has got some software issues.
So today i spent money on buying a new dual core processor,a new 1gb RAM and a new graphics card.
Hopefully it will improve the gaming performance of my computer,which is not good mainly due to the faulty RAM.
My Need for speed carbon cars don't look good,and the game play is jerky.
Next mission is to buy a new HD Monitor,but before doing that,i will have to convince myself that i need it,and that will take some time.

Yesterday,while on the way to a friend,late in the night,i got pulled over by the police.
My brake lights were not working,and i was driving suspiciously(as always ).
The police woman was really cute,and i couldn't look away from her.
The Dude sitting next to her asked me several questions,while i was sitting like a helpless chicken in the rear seat of the police car.
The police woman asked me to blow into the breath analyzer,and it showed zero.
So i got 5 days to sort out my brake lights,and then send the paper stamped by an MOT station to the police.

Click here for ladies breath analyzer

Click for a joke

Nicked from GrumpyBloke D'oh

Once upon a time there was a little bird migrating from snowy mountains to the warmer plains.
It was windy up in the sky and too snowy on the land.
The little bird was struggling to keep flying,until the time came when she got exhausted and fell down in the snow.
Since it was too cold and the little bird was too tired to move a wing,it fainted.
A cow was passing by,who shitted a few pounds of dung on the helples little bird.The warmth of the dung woke up the bird.And it felt nice and warm in there,so it started chirping.
A cat was pasing by and was very hungry.It heard the sound of bird chirping from a heap of dung,and told itself,lets have a meal.Quickly it pulled the bird out of the shit ,cleaned it,killed it and ate it.
The moral of the story is : Anyone who throws shit on you may not be your enemy.
Anyone who pulls you out of shit may not be your friend.
If you are happy under a pile of shit,dont tell anyone and keep shut.

The sun is shining.
I am going out with my checkered boxers on,i need some tanning

Iran stops trading oil in US Dollars.Now thats a brave step
Iraq tried to do this a few decades ago,and was punished,lets see what happens to Iran,when they have gone ahead and actually done it.

This one is for AlecWeston

Interesting

Bouvet IslandWorld's most remote island

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

My grandma died in 1982,at the age 0f 75.She was a very gentle lady.Although i was young at that time,i still remember many of the stories and life experiences she used to tell us.
On was about the Train.In 1870's this new form of travel was still in it's infancy in then United India.
Her grand dad and many people at that time refused to travel on the iron horse just because it had no Bridle,and they could not control it.
So they thought it dangerous to ride something which they themselves have no way of controlling and is as fast as the wind.
They used to call it the "Hava Gaari" or in English "the wind vehicle".
So the health and safety sense of my grand mother's grand dad,stopped him from traveling on the Train,and he used to walk long distances,or ride a horse.

Found these interesting stats about the electricity consumption in the world,per capita for different countries.
Top of the list is Iceland and on the bottom is Gaza strip,may be the israilis don't give them much electricity anyway.
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/ene_ele_con_percap-energy-electricity-consumption-per-capita

What about USA's own mountain of nuclear weapons?
Thats two faced policy,themselves thay got enough weapons to scorch the world many times over,and at the moment are the most hostile nation in the world,but won't let others use nuclear power at all.Even for energy production.

Thats my latest profile tag .
I may be one of the few bloggers who bother to check their profile tags.

Sometimes i chat online on one of the less known website (which i am not gona tell).
That website does not require any photos to be posted on your profile,and you attract attention by using some cheesy words in your profile description.
I rarely get any PM's.But yesterday i made a girly ID,and used some really rude words in the "likes" and "dislikes" column of the profile.I got 24 PM's in just two hours.Four dudes Pm'd me their phone numbers asking me to video call them.Saddo,ain't i?

Click here

Friends are like underwear,always stay near you.
Good friends are like condom,always protect you when you are vulnerable.
Best friends are like Viagra,always bring you up when you are down

As of last week,gawd George Bush warned Pakistan that USA will not hesitate to attack Pakistan if needed.
General Mush had been trying hard to keep the yanks away by whipping the asses of his own people,but apparently it didn't work.It looks like the Red & White war machine is just too busy at the moment,and will bang us pretty soon.
The Bush Administration may be preparing to lash out at old ally Pakistan, which Washington now blames for its humiliating failures to crush al-Qaida, capture its elusive leaders, or defeat Taliban resistance forces in Afghanistan.

One is immediately reminded of the Vietnam War when the Pentagon, unable to defeat North Vietnamese Army and Viet Cong forces, urged invasion of Cambodia.
This is one reason why i appreciate the come back of Russia.No matter how evil or good they were,they were doing a good job in keeping the balance of power in our world.

I had lived 1 Billion seconds when i was 31 years 9 months old.

July 29, 2002 - Florida, USA

In an attempt to force himself into a healthy routine of exercise, a Florida man hired a hit man to kill him if he failed to show up to any of his 3 weekly workouts for the past 5 years. "At first I thought the ridiculous membership fees and that ludicrous up front joining fee would make me workout so I wouldn't waste the money - but that didn't work. Within weeks I was coming up with all sorts of lame pathetic excuses not to go. So I decided that if money wouldn't promote me to go, losing my life would. The hit man idea has worked like a charm, maybe even too good. There were some times that I truly would have preferred not to go, like that time I had bronchial asthmatic pneumonia. I've never had so much dark green mucus running down my face in my life, you should have seen that treadmill afterwards. But with all its ups and downs, my only complaint lately is that what I originally thought were expensive gym fees have been over shadowed by the high cost of the hit man. Now that I want to stop, I can't because I told him to shoot me if I told him I wanted to give up."

There are people who will write about their trip to the supermarket,and it will be both funny and interesting to read.
And there are people who will write about their ride on the back of the fire breathing dragon with roger the rabbit,and it won't be catchy.
Most of the time i find it hard to write long posts about my personal experiences,my thoughts and opinions and views.
Due to a very short concentration span,i lose interest in many things for no apparent reason
I have never read a book with more than a hundred pages unless it is some text book and i had to read it to pass my exams.
But i did watch all three DVD's of Lord of the rings in almost one session,and that was 9 hours of movie watching.
May be i should start Yoga to improve my concentration.